Nov 262021
 
The blue sky view out the window

Friday, November 26, 2021

I’m sitting in the hospital with Tammy, the sound of the ventilator clicking away like a slow second hand on a clock.  It’s hounding me with Time’s relentless push through another painful day.  I stare out the window at the blue sky and ponder the reality of a day lost. What a lousy way to spend what looks to be a perfect day.  A day that could have been spent walking and holding hands under the blue sky, or talking with family, or enjoying a meal and a TV show.  Maybe popcorn and Hogan’s Heroes while we lay in bed and wind down the end of the day.

Instead, we are in the hospital.  I’m waiting, watching, praying and trying to muster faith.  She, hopefully, mercifully, is sleeping and won’t even remember these days.  But as soon as I thought of these days as wasted and lost for us, I heard a familiar voice inside my head.  God can give me back these days ten-fold or more.  I know it’s true. Maybe these days in the hospital are like seeds.  Days spent here will reap many days later.  For every day we spend here, perhaps we will get 100 more added to the number of our days. Wouldn’t that be just like God?  

The doctors, nurses, and hospital workers are all a part of this day too.  So who knows, maybe the intersection of our days spent in the hospital with their lives here may be something of eternal value.  Then it would certainly not be days wasted.  It would be days invested in order to reap eternal rewards.

Any day that is spent in the center of God’s will cannot be a day wasted.

Sep 292012
 

Below is a poem I wrote more than ten years ago and sent to poetry.com.  I have hesitated to post it on my blog because, quite frankly, it’s a little embarrassing.  Despite that, I have decided to swallow my pride and post it for several reasons.  First, I have felt like I should for a while now.  Second, I need another post for this month.  (I try to at LEAST do three a month.)  And finally, since I am not feeling this way at the moment – hopefully learning a few things since then – you don’t have to feel sorry for me or be amazed at my pity party.  I am VERY blessed, as are many of us.  However, my guess is that some others have felt this way at times, so maybe you can relate.  If I am the only one that has ever felt this way, don’t tell me.  It will just make me feel bad.  😉

—————————–

Midlife Musing

Life is hollow.
Striving, Reaching, Struggling.
Close, but never there. Grasping.
Not quite good enough,
Not quite quick enough,
Not quite old or young enough.
A life full of not quite enough money,
Not quite enough time,
Not quite enough talent.
A life of almost good enough,
Almost correct and almost right.
Hoards of I-wish-I’d-done-thats.
Regrets scattered everywhere.
Success seems scarce, Yet blessings abound.
Self pity is sickening.
The end of life. A talk with God.
The unimaginable happens.
“Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Nothing else will matter at all.

– JMS

 

“His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
              — Matthew 25:23  NKJV

Jan 272011
 

Her surgery went well.  The tumor was benign.  We had prayed for that.   We had hoped for that.  We even dared to expect that.  But we knew it could have been otherwise, so we thank God for an answer to prayer and the result we had been hoping for.  I don’t always get what I want.  I don’t always get what I ask for.  I don’t know why some stories have happy endings and others do not.  I wish I did.  It might save me some worry.  As it is, all I can do is continue to talk with God, letting him know my needs and concerns, believing that no matter what happens He is there, He cares, and He rewards those who diligently seek Him.

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
     – Hebrews 11:6  KJV