Broken Relationships

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Dec 102024
 

When a relationship is broken, who is to blame? We often look for the offending side, thinking they must fix things. They must right the wrongs and adjust their attitude and actions so the relationship can be put right. And until they do, we are put out, frustrated, hurt, and estranged.

But what if, even though there is only one offending side, one side that carries all the burden of blame, God would call the offended, gracious side to be even more so? What if, to fix the relationship as best it can be, God calls the loving, self-sacrificing side to be even more so? What if God calls the long suffering to stretch undeserved patience and kindness even further?

Perhaps there are times when God would call us to “shake the dust off our feet” and move on. But even those times should be done for God’s purpose and the greater good. Not for our own convenience or self-righteous satisfaction. I think in a relationship gone bad, even when the blame falls completely on one side (if there ever is such a case) there is always change that can happen on both or either side that will work for good. The question is, which side is willing to listen to God, step with courage and obedience into the path of change, and start walking the relationship in a better direction?

If you need more details from God on how to make the change, see 1 Corinthians chapter 13 from God’s play book.

Don’t Change My Misery

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Mar 242019
 

Two dogs are more trouble than one.  They fight, they vie for attention, they eat twice the food and make double the mess.  You must take two walks or take one walk with both hands holding tight to two leashes, which promptly get tangled and twisted.  It’s weird.  I now have two big dogs and double the trouble, but if you asked me if I was willing to give one away, I would say no. 

Attachment is a strange thing.  We can get attached to dogs, to people, to places and things.  We can get attached to habits and ideas and perhaps, even our miseries.  We get comfortable.  We get used to life a certain way and we fear any changes because we prefer what we know to the unknown.  Maybe I won’t like that new house.  What if the new job is even more miserable than the one I have?  It’s the opposite of the “grass is always greener” syndrome.  It’s the “what if the other grass is even more weedy” syndrome. 

There are some people that are always looking for a change because they think it will make life better.  There are other people that are always trying to keep things the same, because they are afraid the change might make things worse.  I doubt that either extreme is good.  I probably lean toward the latter rather than the former.  The right attitude is probably somewhere in the middle.  Unfortunately, moving to the middle requires either more, or less change, depending on which side you are on.  And for either of the extremes, that’s a difficult move.