My typical drive to work involves a left turn from a neighborhood side street unto a busy, two lane highway. Several factors make this a bit of a challenge. There is a hill on the left, which prevents me from seeing very far down the road. There are trees on the right, which require me to pull way out toward the highway in order to see around them. There is no traffic light, and at 8 o’clock on a weekday morning, an almost constant line of traffic. This could make for a very harrowing experience except for one thing. I am used to it.
This morning was a typical morning. Lots of traffic and a difficult situation. I waited for a small gap coming from the right, looked left and saw the Southeast Freight-line tractor-trailer flying over the hill, then popped out the clutch and floored it. I squeezed in the gap with wheels spinning, just as the huge truck zipped past me.
As I cruised down the road, I began to think just how insane life can get without me even noticing it. I thought about the early days of learning to drive a vehicle with a standard shift and a clutch. How scary it could be having to stop and start on a hill, or pull out in front of oncoming traffic. I thought about my son Sam, who is just learning to drive a standard shift and will not pull out if there is anything in sight at all. Why? Because he knows there is a chance he will stall right in the middle of the road. He has not yet learned the delicate technique of releasing the clutch with his left foot while adding gas with his right. I have done it for so long that I do it now without even thinking. But this morning after I pulled out in front of that big truck, I did think.
I thought about what could have happened if my foot slipped. I thought about what would have happened if the engine stalled. I have been conditioned to take the risk, depending on the performance of my car and my own skill. Today I realized that might be a bad thing. I have little doubt that my car and my skill are not as reliable as my actions have been conditioned to suggest. Unfortunately, I believe similar conditions exist in other areas of my life as well. Anytime I become accustomed to relying on my self, I’m in trouble.