{"id":2942,"date":"2025-01-07T17:44:05","date_gmt":"2025-01-07T22:44:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/?p=2942"},"modified":"2025-09-28T23:09:23","modified_gmt":"2025-09-29T03:09:23","slug":"just-being-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/?p=2942","title":{"rendered":"Just Being Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"546\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shadowme.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2943\" srcset=\"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shadowme.jpg 546w, https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shadowme-300x264.jpg 300w, https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shadowme-150x132.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 546px) 100vw, 546px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>    When I look in the mirror, I see a shell. It&#8217;s getting worn and old, scarred, marred, faulty, and broken. It&#8217;s been around for a few years, but only a blink of eternity&#8217;s eye.<br>    There is something in that shell that is me. I am not the shell, only its inhabitant. But still, I wonder what I am. If I am not the shell, what am I? Am I the thoughts? But isn&#8217;t that also a part of the shell? If I lose my capacity to think clearly, am I not still me? What about my wants? My hopes, dreams, and needs? My desires that drive me to do and be what I am? Pushed and persuaded by the drives within the shell, if I lose those, am I still me? And if so, what is left? What will drive or inspire a &#8220;me&#8221; that wants or needs nothing? If that is the &#8220;me&#8221; of tomorrow, the &#8220;me&#8221; of eternity, it seems it would be so devoid of much of the &#8220;me&#8221; of today.<br>    So my big question is this: When my soul slips into eternity and this shell is left an empty, decaying husk, if all my desires and needs are gone and my thinking is completely new, will I still be me?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I look in the mirror, I see a shell. It&#8217;s getting worn and old, scarred, marred, faulty, and broken. It&#8217;s been around for a few years, but only a blink of eternity&#8217;s eye. There is something in that shell that is me. I am not the shell, only its inhabitant. But still, I wonder [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2943,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[444,443,445,257],"class_list":["post-2942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-consider","tag-eternity","tag-me","tag-soul","tag-spirit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2942","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2942"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2942\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2957,"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2942\/revisions\/2957"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2942"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2942"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markspruill.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2942"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}